When To Quit

When I was still a fraternity neophyte back in 1999, I was subjected to indoctrinations by my fraternity seniors. Hey, that's how quality fraternities in the Philippines prepare their soon-to-be brothers. They make sure that they will be giving their coveted fraternity handshake to those who deserve it, and that means to those who think like they do. I, for one, have learned a lot from them. I tried to put the lectures in my heart and mind under pressure. But you may wonder, "How can a stutterer like you survive the initiations of the most notorious fraternity when it comes to initiations (and rumble)". Hmm, maybe because they kinda gave me considerations? I don't know myself. But one thing is for sure. I wasn't exempted from getting the big bad chocolate bar whips, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, this post is not about the fraternity that I joined way way back but it is about quitting, an act which my fraternity discourages us to do and is included in our indoctrinations. I remember written on my tickler to "never quit" and my lords implying that persistence always has a good price. Say a persistent suitor will get the woman of his dreams in the long run. Or say a persistent student will eventually graduate after years of yes, persistence. We are taught to follow our dreams and never quit because quitting won't bring us to our destination. Quitting, generally, won't give us any chance to succeed.

I wasn't a fan of quitting until I experienced physical discomfort from smoking. Yes, I used to smoke heavily and I remember the times when I was doing 2 packs of Marlboro a day. At first, smoking gave me a way to get to people. Usually it's the initial way to strike a conversation. "Do you have a lighter?" and "Can I have a stick?" usually can go to different topics. Physically, it relaxed me and removed tensions and stress. But not for long. I soon discovered that I was wasting a lot of money by inhaling smoke of processed tobacco which are contained in white sticks packed in boxes labeled with "Surgeons Warning : Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous To Your Health". Yes, I was like paying someone to kill myself. How stupid is that?

I attempted to quit a lot of times and actually had 2 serious quits. The first smoking quit wasn't successful. I stopped smoking for 2 weeks and went back. And it caused me lots of chest pains to the point that my left arm was going numb. And that particular day, chest pains got so intense to the point that all I thought was "What ifs?" and "Will I die today?".

Good thing is that pains subsided and I promised myself to never get a cigarette and stick it inside my mouth ever. Things happened in a snap and I'm smoke-free for more than half a year now. Consequences? I'm now saving lots of money (better than car insurance savings, imo), breathing clean air, sporting fucking reddish lips, having no severe bad breaths in the morning, enduring treadmill sessions and eventually getting myself fit. And of course, living life without me "killing" myself.

Lesson learned?

Quit on something if you feel like it is hindering you from growing and all that it does is cause you harm. It is also applicable to other things in life, like if you have a bad or forced career choice or if you have a fucking high maintenance or very frustrating relationship. Quitting is good sometimes and it is a sign that you're not blindly following something that someone just told you or something that you just felt. And quitting is one way to tell if one is thinking and evaluating things for his own good.

"I quit, therefore I am."

And if you quit on something, put your middle finger up high and carry on in life. As long as you're breathing, wonders of life go on.

Time for me to go to bed. My first day of internship is 8 hours from now.